The Reason
by Shipperony10
Summary: Listening to a song can make you think of many things. Harm and Mac listen to a song on the way to her apartment that changes things for the better. BTW, I am obsessed with music in general, hence the song fics.


**The Reason**

Disclaimer: Not mine...never will be, but I wish I owned DJE.

AN: This is an attempt at a song fic. The song used is "The Reason" by Hoobastank from their new album The Reason. This takes place a few months after Hail and Farewell. I speculated what Mac told Harm about her condition. Mac turns out to be fine with some much needed help from her flyboy.

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><p><strong>September 15, 2004<strong>

**JAG Headquarters**

**Falls Church, Virginia**

**1420 Local Time**

Harm walked over to Sarah Mackenzie's office where he could tell she would be busy. He looked at her a few seconds before knocking, admiring the way she could totally be pulled into a case file. With a slight knocking on her door frame he announced his presence.

"Hey, Harm, what can I do for you?" She had a thousand watt smile in place.

"You can go to dinner with me tonight. What do you think?" He was sweating and nervous hoping that she would agree.

"Um, well, I don't know. Should I?" She asked in a teasing tone trying to pull his leg.

"Mac-come on I'm serious here."

"Ooh, Flyboy careful I think you sounded desperate there." Harm gave her a warning stare. "Ok, I would love to go to dinner with you."

He released a breath that he had been holding. "Ok, it's a date then. I'll pick you up at 1700." He smiled and returned to his office. This was going to be a special night.

For the next two hours and forty minutes the two most professional and experienced officers seemed to have a problem concentrating. Their minds were on their upcoming date.

La Tours

1735 Local Time

Harm had decided to wear a nice gray suit with a pearl white shirt and a maroon tie. He was walking along side of Mac with his hand on the small of her back to guide her. He could not help but feel a bit jealous when he caught many men staring at her with mouths wide open. Not that he blamed them; her choice of dress was perfect in every way. It was a black skin-tight dress that went down to her knees and hugged her body in such a beautiful way that it made Harm lose himself just staring. They were seated in a small table that was nicely set. Harm had asked for a seafood platter while his meat-eating partner chose to eat a nice New York steak with mashed potatoes and salad. They ate in a comfortable companionship often just discussing the new ways at JAG. Their new CO was a squared away marine who was nice when he wanted to be, but most of the time a by-the book-Jarhead. "Great, just what I need another grumpy marine to deal with." Harm stated.

"Careful Harm, we marines like to stick up for each other." She smiled.

"It's just so different, I miss the Admiral."

"Why? Because he was a squid like you?" She teased.

"No...because he let me go up against you in court whenever I pleased." He joked.

Their dinner was great and quite satisfying. When Mac heard the soft music that the band was playing she decided to ask Harm onto the dance floor. She got up and extended her arm to him. "Care to dance with a grumpy marine?" She smiled.

"Only with this one." He accepted her hand and walked her to the dance floor.

The song was soft and relaxing almost sending them both on a daydreaming adventure. Their surroundings blurred as they wrapped their arms around each other. It felt as if they were floating in the air. Dancing could only be felt this way if they were with each other, they were certain. Harm pulled Mac ever so closely wanting to feel her body against his. To feel her heart beat against his chest and to have her feel his. He wrapped his arms around her waist while she placed hers around his neck. She rested her head against his broad chest and could hear his heart beating frantically. She pulled back slightly not separating her body from his. She smiled up at him in question. "Only you do that to me. Only you could make my heart leap out of my chest." He whispered down to her. She smiled, took one of his hands from her waist and placed it over her heart. Once his hand was placed where she wanted it, he could feel how quickly her heart was beating as well. "I see I have the same effect on you." He smiled arrogantly. "Squid, you have the biggest ego I have ever seen." They danced until they realized that the song had ended and they were the only ones standing in the middle of the floor.

"Uh-do you want to go?"

"Yes, let's go."

They drove back to Mac's apartment with a song playing on the radio. A song that made both of them think about their relationship or lack thereof.

`And this next song is for all of you who have found out the hard way that you are truly in love with someone.' The radio announcer said before playing the song.

I'm not a perfect person

There's many things I wish I didn't do

But I continue learning

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

Sydney, Australia

"You know they wrote eternity on this bridge on new years."

"Is that how long we're going to wait?"

"Mac..."

"Harm we're not in Washington. We're not even on the same continent."

"Location doesn't change who we are."

"Most men would disagree with you."

"I know. I disagree with me sometimes, too."

"But you still can't let go."

"Not yet."

Harm drifted back from the moment on the ferry. He really didn't mean to hurt his Sarah. He never meant to send her into the arms of Bugme. He shifted slightly and noticed that Mac was also deep in thought. He went back to listening to the song.

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

"Why didn't you tell me about Renne?"

"I don't know, Mac. It occurred too late for it to mean anything."

"In English please."

"I couldn't."

"So where does that leave us?"

"I don't know. At the end I guess."

"How about back at the beginning?"

Mac looked over to Harm where she saw a huge smile pasted on his face. He must have had the same flashback as her. Boy what if they had started at the beginning. She couldn't help but look at his face. His chin was so strong and sexy, his mouth so luscious and ready to be kissed, and boy did she want to kiss him. His eyes so blue and- wait his eyes. Busted! She was caught in the act of drooling over him.

"Nice view?" He flashed her his flyboy grin.

"I can't say it's bad."

They both turned back to the song that was responsible for resurfacing so many feelings and memories.

I'm sorry that I hurt you

It's something I must live with everyday

And all of the pain I put you through

I wish that I could take it all away, and be the one who

Catches all your tears

That's why I want you to hear

"Did you think you could sneak away without saying goodbye?"

"Why goodbye and not good luck?"

"Didn't I say that to you once when I was stupid enough to leave JAG?"

"Yes you did."

"You said you were happy for me."

"I was, but that was different. You were in love."

"And you're not?"

"What does love have to do with anything?"

"Hey you want me to water your plants while you're gone?"

"I don't have any plants."

"Damn it. I have so much I want to say to you, but I can't find the words."

"I know."

"Damn you, why am I the only one crying?"

They didn't want to listen anymore, but somehow they had to. The song was pulling them in as if by a powerful force that would not let them run away. Not this time.

Harm thought to himself, `Damn it. Why do I hurt her so much?'

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

And the reason is you

"Um, you said you got this for AJ's fifth birthday party."

"I did? But he's not going to be five he's going to be four."

"Exactly."

"That's what's been bothering you? Our deal to have a baby together after five years?"

"I wouldn't exactly say bothering me."

"Well something was bothering you. Like the comment about the clock ticking. Is that supposed to be my biological clock? Harm why didn't you tell what was on your mind?"

"Maybe you were afraid that I'd want to up the time table." Mac smiled.

"Now that never occurred to me. Do you?"

"You're funny."

It was amazing how this woman had constantly made Harm change who he was. He used to be someone who never let anyone in, but there were times when Mac was the only one who got in. The only one he wanted to let in. That deal almost was never going to happen. After he had learned of her condition he was terrified that he would never be able to give her what she wanted, but now that they had overcome another obstacle, Harm knew he had to do something. He had to let her in all the way, not that she never had been there. But this time he had to let her stay there. Where she belonged.

Mac was thinking along the same thoughts as Harm. She had rarely let anyone in, and when she did she only got hurt. Harm was the only one that she wanted to let in. He was the only man who could cause her to change who she used to be. She realized very quickly that she wanted to be with Harm. Where she belonged.

I'm not a perfect person

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

I found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

"You know men seem to just pass through my life. Except for you. Will you always be there?"

"Yes."

"Then you need to know what the doctor told me."

"What is it?" He readied himself for the impending news.

"Harm, I have an ovarian cyst. They can remove it with surgery, but the chances of me having a child are very slim now. I told the doctor I would let her know what my decision would be. After I discussed it with you. This is very hard for me, Harm. I don't know what to do. I'm scared."

"Mac, I promise I will get you-us through this. I promise."

The song had ended and Harm heard Mac sobbing. He turned to face her and he could clearly see a trail of sparkling tears making their way down her cheeks. She faced him and offered him a weak smile, but quickly turned her head to the window. She didn't want him to see her cry, again. He had done that too much already.

Harm took Mac's hand from her lap and intertwined his fingers with hers. "Mac, don't cry. Please." She looked up at him and smiled while giving his hand a tight squeeze.

They had arrived to Mac's place minutes later with their fingers still laced together. Harm turned to face her after turning the engine off. "Wait there." He told her as he opened his door to walk around and help her out. She gladly accepted his offered hand and got out standing so close to him she could feel his breath on her soft skin.

"Why don't we go for a walk?"

"What, now?"

"No tomorrow. Yes, now." She nodded her head and extended her hand out so he could grab hold of it. And he did so, again interlocking their fingers.

They walked for a few minutes in complete silence. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, but a relaxing one that let them enjoy their company while looking around the park and taking in the scenery. It wasn't until Harm stopped them that either of them spoke.

"Mac, I'm sorry for everything I've done wrong." Mac looked at him with a questioning look.

"What?"

"Yes, I'm sorry that I've hurt you so much. I never really meant to. I would never hurt you intentionally. Never. You know that right?"

"Yes, Harm, I do."

"You know...I have something to confess."

"Really? What brought on this sudden confessing session?"

"That song we were listening to earlier, Mac. It made me realize that I hurt you too much and that I can't live without you knowing how I feel. I love you, Sarah. I can't remember when I didn't. I'm sorry that you had to go through so much because of me. I'm sorry that I had to learn the hard way that I was truly in love with you."

Mac had tears threatening to fall. She knew that Harm had changed since Paraguay, but this was a huge step for him...for them. "Wow. I-I don't know what else to say but I love you, too."

Harm smiled so widely that he was sure that he was going to be hurting if he didn't stop it. "Mac, I need you in my life. I want to be there for you...always. I want you to be the mother of our children. I want to grow old with you...older." A small chuckle escaped from both of them.

"Harm, I want that to. All of it. And after that scare we had a few months ago I know that there's nothing I want more than to carry a little flyboy, or flygirl. I love you. I can't tell you how thankful I am for your always being there. I guess I knew you wouldn't let me down." Tears made their way down her face again, but this time Harm caught them and placed a kiss along the wet trail. "I'm sorry too, Harm. I'm sorry for everything."

She leaned in closer to him to where there lips were nearly touching. Before she let her lips caress his she whispered to him. "I want you. For eternity." With that she laid her lips on his. The kiss started off slow and sweet. It was a warm-up kiss. It was a kiss to catch up on what they had been missing out on all this years. Soon the kiss escalated into a full-blown sensual kiss. Mac's tongue was seeking entrance to Harm's mouth. After trying to tease her a few times, Harm finally let her in. They explored a part of each other they truly never had the chance to know before. And after nearly passing out because of the lack of oxygen, they separated and just looked at each other. Harm again grabbed Mac's hand and took it in his, amazed at how perfectly her slender hand fit into his strong one. He led them back towards Mac's apartment. "You're my reason for everything."

"You know Harm; if I would have known that all it took was a song to get it right...I would have made you listen to it long time ago." She smiled up at him.

"Well, now that we are finally on the same page, what do you say about getting started on that baby deal?" He grinned mischievously down at her.

"Flyboy, show me a side of you I don't know." She returned with a grin as well before turning him toward her and bringing his lips down onto hers.

**The End**


End file.
